How to fail successfully
Written by: John Flanner - 2009
[Viewings: 130]
Failure is something that none of us likes to contemplate, but it’s true to say that all of us fail at least once and usually many more times during the course of our lifetime. Failure can often be painful and embarrassing leaving us with a sense of worthlessness and many other negative emotions. In more extreme cases failure has often led to a person committing suicide rather than face the humiliation that their failure has brought upon them.
I don’t want to dwell here too much on that aspect of things, but I do want to say that I have failed on many occasions and in all probability will continue to do so. Hopefully though I won’t continue making the same mistakes over and over again as there is something particularly sad and futile about that character trait.
One of the things I love about being a Christian and knowing God in a personal way is that he is a God who is full of redeeming qualities. Whenever anyone of us messes up, we know that God is always there looking to heal and restore us. He is never waving a big stick and coming along to condemn us. He is a deeply loving Father, who disciplines and trains us as we pass through our times of waywardness.
I love what I heard one person say in that if you are a Christian and you fail a thousand times, that does not make you a failure – you are a success, who just happens to have failed a thousand times. When we came to Christ we became brand new creations, the old passed away and everything became new. We are now programmed for success.
It is now for us to co-operate with God so that we can be discipled to live successful lives, learning as we proceed through the school of hard knocks or the university of life.
There was a time in my 20s, a few years into my marriage to Sylvia when I began to manifest a behaviour pattern of which I became ashamed. In the midst of lots of pressure; raising small children, lack of finances etc, we began to argue leading to me lashing out with my hands and slapping my wife across the face. This happened on at least three occasions. I felt a deep sense of guilt and shame. I had a reputation of being placid, not having a temper etc, but my wife and kids knew different.
One week we were on holiday with some Christian friends and I was reading in the book of James where it said “Confess your faults one to another and you shall be healed”. The words hit me like a ton of bricks and I knew God was asking me to confess to my Christian brother what I had been doing to Sylvia. I went to him in the kitchen where he and his wife were preparing a meal. He could se I was upset as I blurted out “Brian, please help me, I think I’m demon-possessed”.
Brian was a big, cuddly kind of a guy and he enveloped me in a tight embrace and we sobbed together. I managed to confess what I had done and Brian simply held me in his arms as if he was Jesus. I can honestly say that in the confessing and humbling myself in that way I was healed as it has never happened again.
In 1 John, the Apostle writes “If we sin (fail) we have an advocate with the Father” – his name is Jesus of course who mediates on our behalf. John goes on to say, “If we confess our sins, faults or failures then God will forgive us our sins, faults and failures and cleanse us from all wrong-doing, mistakes etc”. We are also encouraged to walk in the light and not to keep things covered up. The Devil loves to shout (or even whisper) at us “If folk at church knew what you were really like….they would be disgusted. Throw you out….etc”.
Some of us need to discover the joy that comes when after failing we realise how much we are loved by god and by his body. We need to get away from performance related Christianity and enjoy his wonderful grace. When we, or someone in our family fails (messes up) we can either keep it to ourselves and embrace the shame that goes with that, or we can do what the bible instructs us to do and that is to share it with folk we love and respect within the Body of Christ and thereby experience healing and unconditional love.
One time my family and I were part of a local church that failed; as a result of sin the church folded up and its members were scattered. Many of us learned some valuable lessons on how not to build a local church. Some of those people have sadly drifted away from Christ, but others, thank God, are now leading successful local churches in this and other countries. They are the ones who did not sit around for ever and a day licking their wounds, but they learned how to produce success out of failure.
Of course this is an oft repeated story whereby people (not just Christians) turn their setbacks into opportunities and even a lifelong vocation. Think about the former drug addicts, who, having got cleaned up, then turn to counselling and helping those who are in the same position that they once were and the same is true of course for many recovering alcoholics.
As for me, I am a recovering sinner who, day by day, is being saved by the incredible grace and love of God. I am not planning to sin, fail or mess up today, but if I do I will come to Jesus for his cleansing blood to be applied to my life, receive his total forgiveness, dust myself down and get back in the race.
Remember this that nothing you have done, or even how many times you have done it, puts you outside of God’s redeeming love. Simply right now come humbly before Jesus, confess your failure to him and receive his mercy towards you. Tell god “I know I am a success Lord, but I have just failed you”. Begin to actually think of yourself as a success, which is what God thinks of you. Remind yourself that nothing (absolutely nothing) can separate you from god’s love.
In a recent television interview Cliff Richard was heard to say “As I have got older the one thing I have learned more than anything else is not to be judgmental”. That is a precious revelation. The older I get the more aware I am of my own shortcomings and the more amazed I am at God’s amazing grace and patience towards me. I just love the grace, mercy and loving kindness of our God. As his word says, it is his tender, loving acts of kindness that lead us to repentance.
Learning to be a success is about bringing your failures into the open, firstly with god and then with one another. It’s about walking in the light and not in darkness – the blood of Jesus will only cover that which has been uncovered. Let us stop hiding behind the masks and reveal our true identity We cannot hide from God anyway. You will recall Adam in the garden after he had sinned. He used to walk with God in the cool of the day, but now he was hiding away, full of shame. God came, tenderly calling, “Adam where are you”? Of course god knew where Adam was anyway, but he just wanted to clothe him and love him
That is god’s heart for you and me today – he comes to us in loving mercy to restore, revive and reinstitute his call upon our lives. We are now better equipped to do the will of God than at any other time in our lives. We know more of his grace today than we did yesterday and we can go forth to shine for Jesus in this dark world to teach others how to successfully recover from failure.
Comments
If you have any comments on the above article or would like to communicate with John Flanner about any matters or need encouragement in any way, please email him at:
Email: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.